Ballad of the Last Alcoholic

The Flow of History Is Determined
By Two Separate But Equally Important Groups:
The Soyjaks and Foids
Who Form the Rabid Fandom of the Current Thing
Ever excited to buy More Product;
And the Chuds
Who Prosecute the Billions
And Adjudge Their Futile Efforts
In the Trials by Nothing Ever Happens.

And the waters of history
Blood 2 Alcohol
Aqua Vitae of the World
(History 2)

The old world is lost
And unremembered
Its firstborns disinherited
Now wander vagrants
In a world where nothing ever happens
And the billions who must, never die
(They stay alive)

The wino bums splayed out in the sun
Midmorning liqueur siesta
A fine schnapps and a sweet brandy
Desiccated vainly now
Under flames glaring, unimpressed
Whose light sees all it makes visible
Illuminates no more
The golden age of drunkards
Long ago past now - an archeological subject
Now is the golden age of the scolding nag
(The Foid and her Soyjak)

History 2

"American youth not being big drinkers now is probably 'cuz modern libtards got big prohibitionist nag energy, always on about the sinfulness of doin' normal dude shit. ...those orchard-burning femcels won... the moonshiners have fallen... is it Over? did we get too cocky, boys?"

Said the Chud, in a hungover haze
And immediately, he was jumped,
Arrested, executed
Deposited in shallow grave
"Longhoused, posting coal,"
Said his murderers (his friends)
In eulogy.

And then:
We cannot lose
For us to lose
Something must happen
And nothing ever does.

They spat upon his ignoble grave
And prayerfully each affirmed their faith:
If one alcoholic in the world is left,
I'm the guy
A true drunkard never dies
He rises up, more hungover,
Death denied.

History 2
Drinking With You
History 2
Pick your poison
History 2
The Gin and Tonic stays alive
History 2
The Moon always shines
History 2
Except when its New
History 2
Drinking with you
Drinking with you
In History 2

Drinking with you in History 2
An open bar at the end of time
Drinking with you in History 2
The moon always shines except when it's new
Drinking with you in History 2
Drinking with you
History 2