Today I saw a freak at the library
There he was splayed out in his chair
Smelling faintly of mustard gas and sulphur
His aura dark as a ritual cult orgy of sodomy
Coincidentally displayed on his screen
And I said: “Excuse me sir, that's inappropriate,”
The librarian shushed me with a magical blow
Unfortunate, because I left my katana at home…
And the freak rose up from his chair
He was seven foot four
He had one big eye like a burning black coal
And he snarled
In a foreign agglutinative tongue
Full of ambiguous consonants
And sharp vowels that I did not understand.
And though Silenced and Distant
The steel of my blade sung through my soul:
”The cyclops will sever your spine if you don't sever his first!”
So there I was on a Tuesday afternoon
Cutting down a freak with a boxcutter at the library
And for all her shushing
When the bloodshed began
The librarian shrieked like a banshee
Then you wouldn't believe it
What happened next….!
The freak monster pervert grew a second head from his punctured neck
He thrust his gorilla arms out to crush me
I had to summersault flip to dodge him
And I tripped on some little kid table
It looked all Jackie Chan though Drunken Master type thing
Cuz as I fell down I kicked the nuts of the monster
Which gave me time to recover and cut off his second head...
….which was not easy without a katana...
That's when the librarian witch pulled out an AK and there was a whole PR problem. Long story short. I gotta use up some vacation days. Sorry. Short notice. Don't fire me. Yep, I saw a freak at the library. Yep, I took matters in my hands. Yep, I forgot my katana at home. But I'm okay, I'm okay…
I'm just in an idiot plot with a librarian bitch
And this matter will take up all day,
Yep, I forgot my katana at home,
Now I can't come to work,
Yep, I might get fired,
Yep, I'm in library trouble today.
But I'm ok, it's ok.
Yep, I'm ok, it's ok.
