Anarch Emperor's Benediction

What a beautiful anarchy you've established here, fellas.
Truly wonderful stuff.
No authority to bind anyone...
Just communes and corporations and private laws,
And no laws at all, and all properties in a state of flux,
Private, public, both... neither...
No gods, no kings, no master, wow...
But look at all these lions and tigers and bears.
Seems to me the kings of the jungles and woods
Still reign supreme.
(Stop trying to eat me, you're getting in my way!)

Now watch as I, the anarch,
Kill the lion, skin the tiger, gut and eat the bear,
And claim their domains for myself
Not from ambition, but for convenience
Nothing personnel,
But I'd rather prey upon
Than be someone else's prey
(When you hear me coming, pray!)

Now that I've established my supremacy,
I will rule, I suppose, but without governing.
Uh oh, the once-prey of the jungle kings have arrived with a crown
And have named me their emperor.
Ah, here I am, trying to be an anarch in anarchy,
Become the monarch of a monarchy
Holding a title I never asked for
Nor upon which I laid claim.
(Cool, who asked?)

I'll wear it, fine, if you insist.
It'd be rude to refuse.
Majesty? Sure.
Fetch me beer.
(Ahhh, a cold one!)

The law I will now institute,
Call it "wu wei,"
Call it "benevolent neglect,"
Call it what you will --
I call it "not working too hard."
You all can figure it out.
Now they call me a sage.
(Sage goes in all fields!)

Ah, chagrin,
Unknown to anyone
But the cloud I float on around heaven:
I am not remembered as I was
As a man of action in his time and place...
They praise me now "The Yellow Emperor"
And claim that I was heaven's herald and bannerman...
(I'm tagged with tian ming, now I am "It"!)

And they obey the commands of my grandchildren...
Dynastic slaves of a place conquered
By being unconquerable
And now bound by ritual
And obligations of laws they let others write
And struggle to avoid, enforce and enact...
They cannot liberate themselves from their chains...
Living and dying knowing no luxury
Of obscurity or indifference.
(It's a nepo baby curse!)

They govern now but do not rule.
They work much more than I,
Who merely swatted at some bothersome flies
And those advising them to do less
Do so planning coup d'etats...
And those advising them to do more
Are planning to poison, cuck and decapitate them...
(To be a leader is to stand alone!)

What, am I supposed to cry?
It's funny.
We're all laughing it up in the celestial skies
Watching it like an exhibition game.
(Pick a side to cheer on!)

If you walk with the Tao,
They'll never know you by your true name,
Nor remember you for your greatest act.
But it's all just according to keikaku.
(Keikaku means plan!)

Watch the empire long united now divide...
And here's the mere anarchy
Loosed onto the world again.
A rough beast with rotten teeth and a Norwood 6
Slouching toward Beijing.
"All under heaven is in disarray,
The conditions are excellent,"
Said he who would claim absolute rule
But be definitely-not-a-king.
(No kings! Caesar, princip, chairman, president!)

The sequel, remake, soft-reboot
Of the story in which I played
My greatly inflated small part...
To you in a thousand years:
History 2, part 1: prologue...
We're all having fun.
(From you in a thousand years:
History X Part Y Chapter ? Mark!)

Here, have some Ancestor Luck.
Wealth dragon.
Lotus jade.
Buddha, Tao.
Ronin time. Katana.
Zen.
Weeoooweeeoooweeeooo!
Kung POW. Panda!
Here, take this flag!
(Banners for the banned!)

Tag, you're it!
Now you got tian ming.
Tian ming deez nuts!
Yep... disembodied voice:
PEACE... out.
Off I float away on my heavenly cloud!
Off I float away on my heavenly cloud!
(Good luck and goodbye!)

The mic drops onto a provincial village.
Sixty thousand people die,
Two million starve,
Ten million peasants are eaten.
Golden age declared.
(One man's coal, another's gem!)